Joke Thread

Post all non-racing BS here.

Moderator: sandaltered

Joke Thread

Postby JonJ » Tue Apr 14, 2009 11:13 am

I thought we needed a joke thread to lighten things up, with all these challenges and smack talk!!
Here's the first one.



Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses,I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Johnny, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom .'

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Image
User avatar
JonJ
 
Posts: 377
Joined: Thu Oct 02, 2008 6:14 am

Re: Joke Thread

Postby JMF350 » Tue Apr 14, 2009 10:21 pm

There was a little old lady standing at a corner. She had both hands holding her hat on while the wind blew her dress up around her waist. A dignified southern gentleman came up and said, "Ma'am, you should be ashamed of yourself, letting your skirt blow around, being indecent, while both hand hold your hat". She said, "Look mister, everything down there is 70 years old..... this hat is brand new."
Nitorus is like a sl#t.... you wanna hit it but you're afraid of the consequences.
User avatar
JMF350
 
Posts: 169
Joined: Mon Oct 13, 2008 9:41 pm
Location: Monroe City MO

Re: Joke Thread

Postby JMF350 » Tue Apr 14, 2009 10:28 pm

A haggard old lady rides in a fancy hotel's elevator. On the second floor, a beautiful woman steps on and arrogantly says to the old lady, "Georgio, $100 an ounce."
On the next floor, an equally beautiful woman steps on and says, "Chanel, $150 an ounce."
The old lady's floor approaches and as the doors open, she bends over, breaks wind and says, "Broccoli, 49 cents a pound."
Nitorus is like a sl#t.... you wanna hit it but you're afraid of the consequences.
User avatar
JMF350
 
Posts: 169
Joined: Mon Oct 13, 2008 9:41 pm
Location: Monroe City MO

Re: Joke Thread

Postby all throttle » Wed Apr 15, 2009 10:35 am

Image

get it.... IT'S A JOKE!!! :D :o :D :lol: :lol: :lol: ;)
I'm not say let's go kill all the stupid people..... I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out.
User avatar
all throttle
 
Posts: 247
Joined: Sun Oct 05, 2008 10:52 pm
Location: cincinnati

Re: Joke Thread

Postby bad company » Wed Apr 15, 2009 12:57 pm

this means war
User avatar
bad company
 
Posts: 889
Joined: Wed Oct 01, 2008 7:01 pm

Re: Joke Thread

Postby all throttle » Wed Apr 15, 2009 1:54 pm

What can't ya take a joke? :roll: I'm supprized probird didn't beat me to it. :shock:
I'm not say let's go kill all the stupid people..... I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out.
User avatar
all throttle
 
Posts: 247
Joined: Sun Oct 05, 2008 10:52 pm
Location: cincinnati

Re: Joke Thread

Postby sandaltered » Wed Apr 15, 2009 1:55 pm

I've always liked that picture because "Dr Evil" is in the background.
Image
Sand, Mud, and ATV Drag Racing Performance Parts
Mike@MKEMotorsports.com
937-243-6791
User avatar
sandaltered
Site Admin
 
Posts: 2647
Joined: Thu Jul 24, 2008 10:16 pm
Location: Marysville, OH

Re: Joke Thread

Postby JonJ » Sun Apr 19, 2009 8:34 pm

A young man goes into the Job Center in downtown Taylorsville and sees a card
advertising for a Gynecologist's Assistant.

Interested, he goes to learn more; 'Can you give me more details?' he
asks the clerk.

The clerk pulls up the file and says, 'The job entails getting the
ladies ready for the gynecologist. You have to help the women out of their
underwear, help them lie down comfortably, carefully wash their Personal
and Private area, apply shaving foam and gently shave off the hair, then rub
in soothing oils so they're ready for the gynecologist's examination.

There's an annual salary of $65,000, but you're going to have to go to
Albuquerque , New Mexico . That's about 475 miles from here.'
'Good grief, is that where the job is?'

'No sir --- that's where the end of the line is right now.
Image
User avatar
JonJ
 
Posts: 377
Joined: Thu Oct 02, 2008 6:14 am

Next

Return to The Lounge

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron